Taking my Mom to the Store

As a reward for sleeping in my own bed, and for not pitching a screaming fit in the middle of the night during all those nights in the last few weeks when Mom and Dad came in to get Becca or Julie (even though I was awake, too, because of them), my mom decided I should go to the store with her.

Because all those fits I didn't throw in the middle of the night? Yeah, I save them for the light of day.

First, cart selection. Even though it was the last double cart left, and we didn't need a double cart, I insisted on the race car shopping cart. Even though my mom said we should leave it for someone who *needs* a double cart. Even though it wasn't the one that only has one functional seat belt so we wouldn't have to feel guilty about taking it.

It was mine. All mine.


So, as queen of the shopping experience, it was my job to hold, shake, then drop and stomp on all of the groceries that I so chose. But that mom of mine wouldn't give me all of the groceries. I think it started to go downhill when she wouldn't let me hold the tomato and tried to buy me off with the bags of lettuce. Seriously?

Commence screaming, round one. A nice old man saw my fancy shopping cart and heard me screaming and said "Nice horn."

So she bought me off by letting me get out of the cart and walk. Mommy grumbled something about having to drag that stupid huge boat of a shopping cart around the rest of the store, but I was too elated with my freedom to care much.

Until she wouldn't let me hold the raw chicken.

She bought me off with carrying the bag of chips. I made her pay, though. I lost count of how many times I dropped that bag of chips on the floor and said "uh oh" like I broke all of the chips accidentally.

But then, the horror - she wouldn't let me hold the butter!

Oh, melt down in the dairy aisle! Throw the bag of broken chips! Have a strange man pick them up and try to give them back to me. Yell some more.

But she knows my weakness. Those blasted boxes of mac & cheese. They can keep me entertained for days.

I walked. I shook the mac & cheese. That part was pretty much awesome.


I put the box in the cart.


Psych - I'll bet I tricked you! Under extreme coercion, I did cede the box to that magical moving belt.


And I let my mom escape with some of her sanity.